I can't stop loving you

Maybe the title sounds a bit strange. But this Ray Charles song is one of my all time favorites. Till now I never actually really listened to the lyrics, I have to confess. But after listening to it last night, it struck me that this song could go about me and my girlfriend. It is all about thrust, confidence in each other and supporting and loving each other. Maybe even about the lack of it all in a relationship. Depending from which angle you look towards it.

Talking on the phone last night with my girlfriend and hearing her say that she has lost confidence in my actions and willingness to fight for my job and overcoming my health karma, really hurted me. It wasn't the first time she said this. That was the most hurtful. Like I was giving up the fight instead of fighting on the battle. I know how difficult it is when you are not able to be with the person you love because of distance and cultural differences. But it doesn't mean that I'm the only one who has to fight and show proof. Yes, I want to marry and settle down also with her. This doesn't mean that I have to do everything on my own. I'm still true to the goals we both set on February 11th 2007. But this also means that she has to set things in motion to come back to the Netherlands and not to wait till my problems are solved or till I show actual proof of a big victory. I already made some small victory and I'm sure that I'm on the break of a major victory.

After 2 years of combating severe migraine attacks, which often make it impossible for me to work, I finally found a professor who made a spectacular research break through in the research and treatment of migraine. This professor, who works at the Leiden University Medical Center, is my last hope for treatment through regular medical treatment. Downside is that I might be due for an appointment in November of this year. In the meantime I can only do daimoku and try to work as much as possible in between migraine attacks.

Another personal small victory for me is the fact that I allowed to go to the European Study Center at Trets, France of SGI Europe again. That I can go to Trets as a Keibi(protector of the Gohonzon at centers and the members there)is for me a strong sign that there will be a big victory soon and that I can challenge my karma to expatiate soon through extra strong daimoku. This happened every time when I went to the Trets center. So I'm confident that I will win no matter what and that my girlfriend and me are together again soon.

I know my girlfriend does send me a lot of daimoku. I can tell. She also keeps on sending me encouragement. Even while she says she lost confidence in me and she doesn't care or doesn't mind anymore. Still I can tell she does care and mind and that she deep in her heart wants to be with me and does love me. But I guess that it is sometimes easier to deny that to have to admit.
André

I'm leaving on a jet plane

Well, after a long period of not writing, I finally have the time again to do so.

Today some 40 members of SGI Netherlands left from Eindhoven Airport to Marseille Airport (France), to go for the Dutch summercourse of SGI Netherlands at the Institute European du SGI (IESGI)center at Trets, France. I went to Eindhoven Airport to see them off.

Although most of them I knew, I saw also some new faces. One of the members, who will be a Byakuren (hostess) at this course,told me she would fly from Eindhoven Airport. There where members from Rotterdam, Den Bosch, Tilburg, Breda, Amsterdam(!) and Eindhoven.

I wish all memers who went for the Trets course this year a great and fun week and a save flight from and to Marseille!

André